Priska Baumann is a Sheroe, writer, actress, walking her talk. I was following her Blog for quite a while, but shortly before Christmas I couldn't resist anymore and just answered one of her beautiful newsletters. It felt like our meeting was meant to be: We easily found a date and had a magical afternoon full of lightness and laughter in Priskas chosen part-time hometown Hoorn in the Netherlands, right at the Ijsselmeer.
Priska is supporting women as a coach and with her business “SoulFreedom” to find their inner Freedom and outer voice.
What makes me happy... Oh my god, good question! First, I have to say that I learned, that happiness is a choice. A really conscious choice that you have to make in order to be happy. Because there was a time in my life, when I didn't chose to be happy; I chose for adventure, for all other sort of things, but I always forgot about happiness, somehow. Since then, I learned that I actually want to be happy and that I deserve to be happy, and everything changed. I was chasing happiness like.. a horse that chases the carrot, but I never chose to be happy, and that's why I wasn't.
Happiness is about focus, I think. When I changed my focus, I found out that I can actually be happy with everything that is in my life, I just see the beauty in everything. Right now, when we're sitting here, I see this beautiful lake in front of us, the sun, the clouds, you guys, my dog, and just this makes me super happy! To know that I have a home, that I have a partner who loves me, that I can do what I love... that I can just be present in the moment. I think, happiness is always happening in the present moment.
I can really chose to be happy in every moment, just by shifting the focus. Then, I am able to just be happy about me being in this life and about everything that is around me. I really got to learn that – and we all got it, everybody has it, we just need to decide for it.
This is actually the topic of my life, home. Because I was always looking for a home, I was searching for it in all kind of places in the outside. Now, I can say that I have three kinds of home. There is the home in a spiritual way, the connection to a god, source, life or love, however you want to call it. But I also call myself home. I feel home in myself. I learned this when I moved and left my old life behind me; I just realised, that I have everything with me! This is a really big thing for me, because I was constantly looking for this kind of home in the outside world, got disappointed, got hurt, and there was so much drama of not belonging anywhere... and now I found, Oh! I just belong to myself! How cool is that, and I am free! I am free and I can create some sacred space for myself wherever I am. This is also what SoulFreedom means to me, what my business is called. This is what it means to me, to find home in yourself and the strength in yourself, so that you are free to do what ever you want to.
The third kind of home is the physical one, that I have as well ...Not only physical, but rather emotional. The emotional home with my love, where I feel totally at home. There, I can just be who I am and express myself. There, I have the perfect mirror, energies are flowing, this is where I feel like... just celebrating this human being that I am at the moment and feeling at home with somebody else. This is very beautiful. Accompanied with his kids and my dog, who make me feel at home as well. With him, I found home in a physical form.
What shaped my life. Oh wow, this is big! I think, all my crises shaped my life. That's why I say, where the biggest pain is, where you stand in the fire and break through it, that's where you find the biggest treasures in life. These crises brought me awareness that there is more in life than just the obvious.
At one point, I was just fed up with falling down and getting hurt and being always the victim of stuff. When I really was at my lowest, I decided to go for my life and to find the holy grail on my own. I really think it's the contrast in life that shaped me. The dark, that makes the light visible, somehow. When I was in the darkest dark, I just knew that there has to be something else as well – and I wanted THAT, I wanted to find out about it and where to find it. I call it my “kitchen-floor-moment”, because I was literally lying on the kitchen floor, praying for a sign or something, because I just needed help. And all of a sudden, peace flooded through me and I knew: Okay. I can do it. For the first time in my life, I knew that I am responsible for my life and that I can change it. It wasn't always a nice stroll, it has been an Up and Down, but it is this journey, that brought me here. I believe, when you are ready to walk your path, as I call it, the path of the Sheroe, then all the right persons and situations will come into your life - And you will see that everything is actually a gift. When you realize, that even the shitty experiences are being brought to you as somehow strangely wrapped gift, you can't stop unwrapping gifts, right? Because you know, that everything serves YOU in some kind of way. It just changes the focus again and you don't drown in the misery anymore, it allows you to see that there is something powerful behind it – and you know, that when you break through that, you will be so much stronger and you'll learn so much for yourself.
This shaped my life.
Of course, all the people in my life did shape me, all the teachers I had, the wanted teachers and the unwanted teachers (...who can really be a pain in the ass!); but these were actually the best teachers to show me who I am and what I want, and what I don't want anymore.
But I think the core are really the crises and the realization, that crises are opportunities. That they are not against you, but always for you, that everything is for me. Realizing, that this life is standing behind me and that I don't have to fight against it, but that I have to fight for something. It's not even a fight, it's just about accepting and flowing, discovering what's there for me. Sometimes, it is super easy and sometimes it's a real struggle, and both is totally okay, because we are human, right?
The first for me is quite easy to answer: A good relationship is, when I can completely be myself. And when I see that the other person is also opening up to me and we can just be real. When there is a connection and honesty and some kind of nurturing, also. When our relationship nurtures me, when I feel that I can give and that I can receive, like a constant flow. It doesn't mean that it has to be always easy, but it has to have this kind of energetic flowing. I also feel that I have a need for growth, a need to expand, to become more and to give more. This is where I feel most alive in my life, with all kind of people, with clients, in my love relationship... This is what life's about and it can be with who ever we met. Connection, authenticity and growth.
And how can you transfer these principles to society... I think we just need real people. Real people, who are not afraid to stand up for themselves and for their truth. Because we are living in such an artificial world at the moment. Like in advertisement, you are constantly taught that you are not enough; everything is being photoshopped, everything is perfect, you only see those perfectly happy faces and families. And this makes so many people feel miserable, because they feel that they can never live up to this. I think, if we would dare to be more real and just be ourselves – simple, actually – and really tear down all these walls we built up – I think there could happen so much more connection. And I believe this would really influence not only us, but also our children and the whole wide world. I think, if we would be more real, we would also be more connected to ourselves; where it all starts, it all starts with the relationship to yourself – and when I can change the relationship to myself, I can also show up in the world as who I am. I think, there would also be much more compassion. I think that compassion is some kind of suffocated under all this artificial stuff, because we are very much defining our reality by it, but we don't feel anymore, we somehow lost the connections to our feelings. If there would be more compassion, society would definitely change.
Priska's question: Do you remember your childhood dreams and how could you transport them to nowadays life?