Heloisa studies Eurythmics at the Alanus University of Arts and Social Scienes. The dance classes she is holding in the late afternoons are one of my every weeks highlights in university. The enthusiasm and motivation for dance, she is teaching with, is literally breath taking.
What makes me happy...Honestly, I'd probably say that dancing makes me most happy. I need to dance. The movement helps me to stay balanced, and when I am balanced I am happy.
My partner also makes me happy. I consider myself to be a "people person". I enjoy social interaction..but then again I'm a bit strange in that regard, because I'm only able to really connect to one person at a time. Something which always makes me very happy is when I am able to have a genuinely meaningful conversation with someone.
In combination I'd say that yoga, dance, and relationships are the things that make me most happy. With these three things I feel I can really embrace the day. I feel content. Connected. For example, when I'm at a dance event or a marathon I feel awake and alive...I am very conscious of the present moment. If I were to summarise it, I suppose I'd say happiness is the moment in which I am consciously aware and living in the present.
Home is definitely not bound to a place or a house for me. I have absolutely no connection to a specific house or flat, because I have been moving around a lot for some time now. My own flat is almost permanently sublet. I have, however, come to feel quite at home here in Bonn.
Home is my family and my boyfriend. I love spending time with them, and it is with them that I feel most secure.
On a level my parents' anthroposophical background has been very influential. I went to a Steiner school, which I believe aided and encouraged my ability and capacity for self reflexion and self awareness. I think these are fundamental qualities which have contributed to the way in which I live my life, and which are still very much a part of me today.
A second definitive and influential moment in my life, was the decision I made to join the armed forces. Technically what I really wanted to do was to start studying, but somehow I ended up in the army instead. It taught me a lot about structure and routine. Originally I wanted to do a Shaolin course in China, so I decided to do the three month basic training course to gain a better understanding of what might be expected of me over there. It was in the army that I first experienced or learned how practical it can be to simply act instead of permanently over thinking and over discussing things. Things work differently, the immediate execution of orders is expected...the ability to act...just to do without asking questions. Obviously this way of doing things is not always appropriate, but it was good for me to experience a different way of being...simply to respond.
It was there that I realised how much people are really capable of. How strong human beings really are, and how much we are capable of enduring. I was often pushed to my limits and able to overcome them.
In this way you could say that my life has been shaped by three things; My parents' philosophy and inspiration, the realisation that we are capable of so much more than we are aware of and the discovery of my passion for dancing.
A Short Story of Movement
Movement has always been a part of my life...except during puberty, at which point I was studying Business Management and aspiring to a more materialistic way of life. I didn't really want to have anything to do with creativity and the arts.
I enjoyed extreme sports. I would go jogging and keep going until I reached my limit. I was always pushing myself to extremes, because it was in those moments that I felt most present or connected. What I did not yet know is that dance could bring me to that same feeling without the need for extremity. At some point I decided to start learning a Brazilian dance for couples. I had so much fun! I was reminded of my roots. I threw caution to the wind and went to Brazil for a semester abroad. Soon after I dropped out of my Business Management studies and started to study dance and drama. I knew that I couldn't just return to Germany and continue where I left off without recognising what I was experiencing. I decided to follow my heart and to change everything. I decided to dance. To only do what gave me pleasure.
I now have a different approach to studying. I am not studying for the qualification, but for my personal enjoyment and development. My aim is to live each day as fully and honestly as possible. This was, in fact, my sole goal in Brazil, because normal Uni-life had not been fulfilling for me.
After discovering my passion for dance I did nothing else for 3/4 of a year. I visited many different dance schools and learned many different techniques. I realised I was looking for something more than just movement or rhythm. That's when I began to train as a yoga teacher. The connection to the spiritual through movement is what I had been looking for. This, however, was still not the end of the line. I continued to take part in courses and visit conferences to continue researching the self-healing powers of human beings. This is, in fact, exactly what I am focussed on at the moment. I am studying Eurythmy at the moment, and I believe it to be connected to this. Eurythmy, in my opinion, is a lesson in consciousness.
Gwen's question: What would you do if you were brave enough to do it?
I would dare to take a step into an area which is unknown to me.
Heloisa's question: What does self-love mean to you?