Klaus is already the fourth carpenter in 16 portraits – after Simon, Julian and Stefan. A creative mind in building with wood and repairing cycle motors. Besides, he is my father and the son of Margot. I interview him at a paradise like place in the South of India, where I visit him and my mother, after they have been travelling through India for the last five months.
What makes me happy... Sometimes, it just makes me happy when I do handicrafts, without big expectations. I am easily happy when I can move my hands just how I like to do. Or – recently, I sat on the top of the cliff and looked at the sea and I was just happy, because I didn't want anything - I was just pleased with what I saw, the sea, the waves, the sun. And I didn't want anything from it. This is something I consider as happiness. This is a pretty complicated questions, I can't answer it generally, I can only describe aspects of happiness.
When I am together with my wife and feel exactly: The two of us, we fit together. We complement eachother. And we, we are happy together.
To say it in general: When I am in a state where I can just take everything as it is without wanting to change anything. When I am wishless... then I am probably also happy. And it becomes more and more clear to me, that happiness doesn't depend on objects. Sometimes, it depends on people I am together with, but not on „Ah, now I am happy, because finally I have 5000€ on my bank account.“ And also, that happiness is not statically – Sometimes it's there, gone in the next moment, but it will return. It is nothing that starts and lasts, but consists of moments.
I have the feeling of coming home when I am driving in the direction of the Rhön, when I see those familiar hills, I don't know why. Coming home for me is simply returning to where I grew up, it is a special place or a special imprint for me. But I realised throughout my life that home is nothing geographical. I often feel at home with people I am deeply connected with. What makes me feel at home often depends on the people I encounter, I feel at home when there is a certain connection. And I believe, that one can find a home when one has the feeling of not having one. That one can create a new home. Like the refugees, who lost their homes, but maybe it succeeds to create new ones. So home for me is the place where I grew up. And I feel at home in the encounter with people when it moves beyond the ordinary.
What really point my ay ahead was becoming a father. When you have children, you suddenly have a different view on the world, you think differently about many things. You think differently about yourself, when you suddenly discover, that – how should I say – you are just one dot in a row in life. That there were people before you, that you yourself have a life and after you will come life as well.
Another important point in my life was, when I encountered circles of men and realized: It is important, that men come together with men.
And especially influencing is my wife Ellen, who lured so much out of me, or she even exorcised things out of me, doesn't matter, I don't want to judge it – this is very special. If I didn't meet Ellen and spent so many years with her, I would be a comletely different person today.
And maybe anther point... that I believe in God, or something, that you could may call God. Which still surprises me with how complex it is. It is no more the old man with a white beard from my childhood, nor the intellectual construction you build up in smart talks, but something you encounter every day, although it seems differently sometimes. Which is something like a point of light in my life.
Teresa's question: Who do you really want to be? Imagine, money wouldn't matter.
I believe, that money doesn't matter. It is something we all believe, but when we only focus on money, we will miss 99,99% of the rest and it holds us back from so many thingsone can do without or with very little money. This is something I realized, because I always use to think: You have to save up your money, this is not possible at the moment, there is no money for it... But money is just... an excuse. And who I really wanna be... I didn't find out yet. What I really want is to find out, what I really want. I am not clear about that yet. I can imagine many things, but that's just mental acrobatics, nothing where I say: THIS is what I want. What I try for myself is to be honest. I try being really honest, when someone asks me something or I feel to say something. That I don't restrain myself. But I am still young...
Klaus' question: What means fear to you and how do you deal with it?